I truly find this so sad. In an age of repeatedly hearing ‘you can be/do whatever you want’.....why is this percentage still so high?
Are you in that percentage?
1. Do well in school
2. Get a good career
3. Get married
4. Have children
5. Become a grandparent
I have always wanted more. I have always known I just didn’t quite fit that mould.
Yes, I have kind of ticked off some of that checklist, however along the way I’ve also been designing my life to fit with my wants and needs. For example, I did have a career I loved but now have found the freedom I was always feeling drawn to, by designing my career and having the strength to always move towards it.
I remember the first moment I felt I didn’t really ‘fit the mould’. Many years ago, we had some friends over at our home and the question of what do you see yourself doing with the rest of your life came up. When one of them said “sitting on the back porch watching my grandkids”, I queried to get a little deeper about what they had experienced before that moment they were seeing….their answer? Nothing else. Just work, retire, sit.
So, how can you avoid becoming part of that statistic - that 80% club? Here are 3 tips:
1. Believe in yourself
I know, you’ve probably heard that a gazillion times, and it seems way too easy a statement to take notice of. However, it really is key.
I had a conversation with a wonderful young lady this week who said she felt like giving up on something she had chosen to do - because others think it’s lame. Not exactly her words, but that is most definitely what she was trying to say. When I asked a few more questions she said she had chosen to start her own business sharing products she loved, and had become a distributor of the products. Yes, she is the proud owner of an MLM business. However, others had chosen to tell her it was a scam, pyramid scheme, and she shouldn’t do it.
I asked her 3 things:
Do you believe the products can honestly help people?
Are you proud to represent the company?
Are you being authentically you when sharing?
Her answer was a resounding yes to all, however, her belief in herself was at an all-time low.
It was at that all-time low because of the thoughts of other women. Yes that age-old women empowering women catchphrase, was not happening for her. Instead, she had experienced the women bullying women, women trolling women, women belittling women, type behaviour.
I asked her if she believed in herself. Because if you truly believe in yourself, then you will believe that what you are doing is for the right reasons. That you can make good choices. That you are doing good things. That you matter.
I’ve had the bullying, the trolling, the belittling all happen to me, and without a doubt, it was the true belief that what I’m doing is for the right reason and to make a difference in the world, that got me through that bubble of women always supporting women bursting. Because in reality, many don’t.
So do whatever you need to do, have those positive affirmations, pictures, and people around you that nourish your belief in yourself, and the noise from the others will greatly diminish.
It can be so easy to give in.
I have now written an Amazon bestseller in 14 categories, and I know without a doubt that would not have happened if I had given up during any of the times I have felt like it. I’m lucky I had adopted a habit of never giving up on myself, and found a support and wellness cheer squad to help me through the toughest times.
There is also that phrase about doing the same thing over and over and getting the same results, so if something you are doing is simply not working, plateauing, or feeling more like work than passion - change it up! There are a gazillion ways you can reinvigorate something. My term is to ‘refresh’ it! Refresh your business, refresh the way you are looking at something - just change it up! You will find a new way of looking at the same thing, giving new energy and life to your passion for it.
3. Do daily self-care
Most definitely the times when we are feeling tired, low, depleted of energy, emotional, and just plain weary are the days when we have the most opportunity to fall into negative statistics.
71% don’t have enough energy to do what they need to do
68% are sleep deprived and experience signs of burnout
64% experience anxiety
43.7% consider themselves overweight
Is it any wonder that if this many women are feeling sleep deprived, burnt out, anxious, and without energy, that the 80% statistic is so high?
So, take care of yourself! Easier said than done if you are a people pleaser, or if you find yourself feeling ‘guilty’ for scheduling in self-care to your day. However, today is the day you draw a line in the sand and start with 15 minutes of self-care a day, then move it up to 30.
15-minute reading time (nothing that will stimulate, just relax)
15-minute quiet time
15-minute sitting and eating (with no distractions)
Then when you are going well with your 15 minutes a day, move it to 30 minutes.
From there start scheduling in time with your wellness cheer squad (grab my book for a full explanation on that idea), and work on your mindful movement, mindful eating, owning your morning and bedtime routines.
So, there you have it, 3 tips to not becoming a statistic:
Belief in Yourself
Do daily Self Care
Finally, when life gets you down you know what you’ve got to do?
Just keep swimming! Yes, Dory from the Finding Nemo movie said it best!
CLICK HERE to hear her words right now, you know you want those words stuck in your head for the rest of the day! Go on you know you want to hear it - and it won't even take a minute of your day!