3 ways you may be over-apologising!
Do you live apologetically?
It’s probably not something you’ve spent much time thinking about, but it can have a major impact on how your life evolves.
So what is it? Some examples are:
- Feeling as if you need to apologise for what you believe in.
- Automatically saying sorry in a disagreement, just to keep the peace.
- Feeling like you need to apologise simply for being you.
Something I have to work on now and then is my way of living apologetically when it comes to appointments.
I find myself rushing them. For example, I’m at a health practitioner and feel like I’m taking up too much of their time! Even though I’m paying for it!
Have you ever been to the doctor, or health specialist and not wanted to ‘take up too much of their time’? That also is a way of saying “I’m sorry”.
Other ways you may fall into over-apologing are by saying:
To a receptionist: I’m sorry to bother you, I have a question.
To a waiter: I’m sorry, but I didn’t order this (as they bring you the wrong order)
To other parents in a park: I’m sorry, mine is hyper from all the sugar he/she’s eaten today.
To others in a meeting: I’m sorry, I’ll make my point quickly
So what can you do?
Acknowledge that you do it in your own mind, and work on re-phrasing things that you say.
For example:
- To the receptionist: Excuse me, I have a question for you.
- To the waiter: Thank you, however, I didn’t order this.
Now, take a few moments and see if you can re-phrase the other two:
- To the other parents:
- To others in the meeting:
There are several reasons some of us over-apologise such as:
- people pleasing and
- perfectionism,
however, it can also come from
- feeling uncomfortable in a situation,
- low self-esteem, or
- toxic thoughts from judgements and opinions of others still lingering in our minds.
I remember having a conversation with a lady once who said "I'm sorry" over and over again. It honestly was eye-opening and I've never heard anyone say it so many times in one conversation.
One of the biggest areas I see people over-apologising in is when it comes to women having their own home-based businesses.
Often, they are scared to mention their much-loved products or business for fear of people ‘judging’ them for being in ‘one of those’ companies. So, they don’t proudly tell people what they do, what they sell, how their products have changed their lives etc.
Instead, they hide for fear of judgement. They live apologetically.
I’ve had some women say to me “I won’t put anything on my social media because of what other people will think”…..well let me tell you, there are more of us who would love to hear how your xyz helped you sleep better, or gave you more energy. Because someone somewhere needs better sleep and more energy too! There are ways to share this information and still keep your authenticity!
In my best-selling book, Start Living, from Frazzled to Fabulous! I have a whole chapter designed to empower you to move from over-apologising to living unapologetically! (I also have a whole section for those with home-based businesses or thinking about having one so you can be loud and proud about what you do to help others!!)
However, for now, I’ll leave you with this thought..
Naomi xo
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